merry christmas to you. i mean that.

i remember exactly a year ago at this time (11 am), i was leaving sarah's house in friendswood, tx to go back home. and on my way out of houston rock star called me and we said our first face-to-face words of the weekend together at the exit 76 exxon gas station. and so then a 14 hour drive ensued, alone on christmas day.

my, how things have changed.

another year gone by, i'm a little older, a little (hopefully) wiser. i have a few more stories to tell. i'm well on my way to being a college graduate (scary), maybe a real adult. a couple of my dearest friends have either gotten married or are going to get married within a matter of weeks. i'm a little more proficient at playing my guitar and a little more tired of hearing the same christmas songs OVER and OVER again by different artists. particularly some of the secular ones (prime example: jingle bells. is there anyone who really likes that song anymore? could we PLEASE banish it from our christmas song repetoire? all in favor say "yea!"), because really, they don't mean anything.

i sort of miss when i was a kid and got so excited about christmas. even aside from all the gifts, this time of year used to be so enchanting to me. and now... it's really not. the whole gift-giving process has, in many ways, distracted from remembering what experts call "the real meaning of christmas". not that giving gifts is bad-- not at all-- but now it's like we give gifts to each other more out of obligation than care. i do it too... and granted, i do appreciate the extra funds around this time of year, but... i wouldn't mind getting no gifts at all and just having some good quality family time together, where no one was on their best behavior just because they were getting stuff. it would be nice just to be together, just to remember jesus together.

one of the best gifts i got this year was back in may. from ara. see, i don't often wear earrings, but i had this one pair of big silver hoop earrings that i just loved because they made me feel very rock starish. and, well, i lost those silver hoops. ara heard me mention it, i guess, and right before i left for texas, he slipped a present into my car without me seeing. it was wrapped in turquoise paper, and he had drawn a flower on the front and a little note to me saying something like: "to my beautiful stephie-- just a little something to acknowledge your rock star status. i'm your #1 fan-- ara." and you know what was inside? silver hoop earrings. and a bracelet. you have no idea what that did to me or how many points he scored that day. he could have spent $0.50 on those suckers, and it wouldn't have mattered, because it had nothing to do with the money spent, but just that it was so freaking thoughtful.

i love giving and receiving gifts when they are like that. i'd rather it not be christmas day, but all year round. i guess it really is the thought that counts.