as in the days of noah...

so yesterday i'm working at the star, and i'm getting ready to leave, and i see this little kid trying to get my attention from the other side of the counter. he repeated something to me several times, but it took awhile for me to realize that he was speaking directly to me, and not just talking to whomever would listen. i leaned over the counter.

"what's that?" i said.

"you're pwetty," he said, in the most adorable four-year-old lisp EVER. i didn't quite understand it the first time.

"can you say it one more time?" i said, leaning even closer.

"you're PWETTY," he said, smiling. when i realized that he was telling me i was pretty, i smiled big, and he got all embarrassed and looked sheepishly back at his mom, who was sitting in a comfy chair.

i asked the brave little guy what his name was, and i thought at first he said nicholas. we shook hands, i asked him about school, and he started telling me about his favorite dinosaurs. but a little bit into the conversation he said that i should call him noah, which was my first clue that the Lord set this up for some reason.

you see, i LOVE the name noah. i decided quite some time ago that, if i ever have a son, he WILL be named noah. for a long time it was just because i liked the name and thought it conveyed a gentle, yet untamed sort of spirit. and it was really funny, because this kid looked and acted like i've always envisioned my son looking and acting. it stirred something in me, something maternal that i had pretty much forgotten about. for the better part of the past six months, i have really come to a place where i am satisfied being single. the Lord is my husband, for real... and i have caught myself thinking that if there never was another man in my life (in a romantic way) besides Him, well... i really would be okay with that (dare i say even relieved, given the drama of even my current circumstances). i'm relatively certain that this will not be the case, but... i would agree to it, if the Lord made it clear that it was what He had purposed for me. but i think that the Lord set up this little encounter with the intention for it to awaken desire for a family.

but, more importantly, my love for the name noah has come to mean more. in the bible, noah is the first forerunner. he walked with God when no one else would. this man spent decades building a boat at the command of God, never having seen rain. every nail that he pounded into the ark prophesied that great change (of disastrous proportions) was coming to the earth, though in the natural everything looked normal. each nail was shouting, REPENT! TURN YOUR HEART TO THE LIVING GOD! and the thing is, what he was doing would have made no sense to anyone else at the time. i imagine that when people asked why he was building the ark, he told them that God was going to flood the earth because of the great wickedness of mankind, and that water was going to come out of the sky. these people would never have seen rain before. surely they laughed and criticized noah for being so intense. and yet, where was Wisdom? who lived?

"as it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. for in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. that is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man" (matthew 24:37-39).

and so noah holds a special place in my heart. he was the first forerunner. there were many, but he was pretty much the first. and if there is one thing i know about my calling (perhaps the only thing), it's that i am a forerunner.

do you see, my friends? the days are getting darker. do you see?

this calling... it's a heavy thing, and yet... there is such a "yes" in my heart.

i will do it, if You will make me ready.