...the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings...

so the reason why i have not written in awhile is because i ended that last post saying that the next post would be about bethany (which i WILL get to) and, while i do want to tell you a little about her (or, mostly, to communicate the quantity and nature of strange "coincidences" that we share), i have intimidated myself out of writing because there were other things i wanted to address first but felt i could not simply because i said the next post would be about bethany. intimidating myself, how lame is that?

the first thing i want to announce is that my grandpa is now home from the hospital. he was in the hospital for a week and a half after having some severe breathing difficulty. he almost didn't make it, but the Lord was kind to us and now grandpa is at home. the prognosis is not good, however, according to the doctors. several different types of cancer, a very weak heart, and weak kidneys do not make for a long life span in the eyes of men. but my grandpa feels as though the Lord has told him that "this sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it" (John 11:4). i went to visit last weekend and was working through many feelings of encouragement and discouragement alike. i have never witnessed anyone healed of a terminal disease. i believe the Lord can do it, and i have witnessed small healings of my own and for some i've prayed for, but i have yet to see something really... big, i guess. i mean to God i'm not sure that there are degrees between the healing of a cold and the raising of someone from the dead. both are restoring life and come from the same source of power, but to my human eyes and heart... well, it's much easier for me to believe Him to heal something that would most likely get better anyways than it is to believe Him to heal a "hopeless" case. i long to (believe and to see, that is), don't get me wrong... i long to see the paralyzed walk and the dead raised. i long to see blind eyes and deaf ears opened. and i know that i will, but i think in my heart i have put those things off in the future, as things that i will see when i have more faith. and i think the Lord is really using this situation with my grandfather to make the need of His healing touch much more poignant and ever-necessary. i could put off the issue of the Lord healing indefinitely if i never had to face an up-close-and-personal situation in which His moving was the difference between life and death. it's personal now. it is so like Him to make it personal. Lord, please help me take everything from this lesson that You intend. Help me understand Your heart that desires to heal. I want to get it right this time around. Please help me.

there was a time back in january when i was training a new hire. my manager had me interview this woman, and then asked me if i thought she was starbucks material. i said i thought we should hire her. my manager at first did not think this woman was a good fit for our store, but hired her based on my report. several weeks into training, she was working on one of my shifts, and as i was working in back, she came to me upset. she told me that she needed to go. i thought she meant that she needed a break or needed to go to her car or something, but then she said, "no, i need to leave. i'm eight weeks pregnant, and i just started bleeding very heavily." she was starting to weep. i told her no problem, that she should go. i asked her if i could pray for her before she left, and she said yes. so i hugged her and prayed a prayer that, in my head, came out sounding really inarticulate and dumb, but a prayer i meant with all my heart. she hugged me and seemed calmer as she left. as she was leaving, i was still in the back room of the store. the Spirit of intercession came upon me and i began crying out to the Lord for this woman's baby. i don't think i have ever quite experienced anything like it before or since. it was REALLY intense. for about 10 or 15 minutes i cried out, asking the Lord to "seal her womb" and to show Himself strong. then, after 10-15 minutes, i felt peace. i felt as though the battle was over. the next morning, i walked into the store to get something to drink, and there stood this woman, training with another supervisor and looking happy as can be. we made eye contact. i smiled and said, "how's the baby?!" and she beamed and said, "perfect." apparently, as she was driving home from the store, the bleeding began to decrease and finally stopped right when she got home. it took her about 10-15 minutes to drive home from our store (the 10-15 minutes that i was in the back praying!) she went to the doctor, and nothing was wrong. the baby was healthy, the mother was healthy, there was nothing wrong. the doctor didn't even mention bedrest.

i saw the woman with her husband about a month ago or so (she quit about a month after the incident-- said the coffee smell was making her feel nauseated)... and she's almost ready to pop. the baby and mother are doing fabulously. yea God! He is jealous for her and the baby... anyway, that is probably the most dramatic thing that i've seen. and i know you could say that the baby would have been okay had i not prayed... sure, bleeding in the first trimester of pregnancy is not altogether uncommon and does not always mean bad news, but... if you think that way, i guess you'll never know what would have happened without the prayer. i mean, i don't even know... but i do know this: i prayed, and the Lord responded. i felt as though it was a "suddenly" moment of God. you never know when those are going to happen. it feels just like any other day. you pray the same prayer for a sick person that you've prayed a thousand times before, you don't feel anything unusual, and then SUDDENLY... the power of the Lord breaks in and somebody gets healed. you just never know when the suddenlies of God will happen. so keep praying and contending for them... they will become more and more frequent.

i think that's all for today. it's now time for a sunday afternoon nap.