well, i am in houston.

i've been meaning to blog about the trip for quite some time, but i just haven't had a lot of time lately to do so. sorry about that, for those of you who only know what is going on in my life through reading this page. i know i haven't given you much juicy material in the past 6 months or so, so here's a little to make up for that.

i'm seeing someone quite special in chicago. i am going to save that for the next post though, because he deserves his own post. but just so you know, it's coming.

i drove down to texas on saturday. daaang i'm getting too old for that drive. des moines to abilene in approximately 15.5 hours. it was the first time i had been down there since christmas of 2002, when i played for josh's wedding. and i have to say, it was kind of strange. i haven't decided yet whether in a good way in a bad way, but the visit was strange. it's been a year and a half since i have seen all of these friends, and none of us have done an exceptionally good job of keeping in touch during that time, so me coming involved a lot of catching up rather than picking up where we left off. and there's nothing wrong with that, except that everyone has changed a bit. all of my friends there are either married or in a serious relationship, and everyone remarks behind everyone else's back "i don't know if that was such a good idea, them being together." and it's kind of sad when you see that happening a lot, it's like nobody is really in the business of looking out for their friends and helping their relationships with their spouses or significant others grow and mature. i think the best word i could use to describe it is stagnant. it seems as though their relationships are stagnant. it was kind of sad.

i did have fun in abilene though. although at the beginning i felt extremely uncomfortable, by the end i was wishing i had a few extra days to spend there.

instead, however, i drove to houston. i drove through the middle of texas yesterday, past the Deep Shit Cattle Co. (i'm not making this up), through towns where the bathrooms at gas stations had wooden planks that kept the door locked, and past the Texas Department of Corrections, where i saw convicts working outside with surprisingly little supervision or means of keeping them from escaping.

i made it to sarah's house at around 7ish, and boy, was it good to see her. it's funny, i could count on one hand the number of times we've ever hung out, and yet i just feel very comfortable when we do. we seem to have similar life philosophies and temperaments... it's just very refreshing.

she and i went to a bar in houston last night to go see rock star play a show. we have barely kept in touch at all over the past year, but knowing of my planned trip, he called me a few days ago and told me he would be playing every night this week, so sarah and i went to check it out. let me tell you, it was quite the night.

this bar was the one that i sang "beautiful" in with rozino a year and a half ago, so it has special memories. it was a little strange, remembering how i sang that song with so much... emotion, and to me it had so much to do with the rock star situation. and then last night, there i was, watching him play on the same stage. it was very dramatic. sarah and i walked in and awkwardly tried to find ourselves a table without being too conspicuous. she ordered a rum and coke, i ordered an ice water, and we were enjoying the music when...

we were approached by approximately five thousand men wanting to buy drinks for us or get our numbers. only none of them were smooth about it at all. there was one who came and stood next to us and said, "can i get you another ice water?" though my cup was clearly full. i said, "no thank you, i'm all set" and he hung his head in shame and just walked away. sarah was trying to convince me that what we encountered last night was not a fair representation of houston men. i hope not-- not for my sake, but for the sake of all of the single houston women. it was pretty bad, i must say. i just wanted to be left alone, to watch the music. and what i was able to enjoy of it was good. rock star did a fine job-- I would say even that he has improved quite a bit since last summer.

it was just sort of strange seeing him again. we didn't really talk about anything important, just hi how are yous and such. and as i was sitting watching him play, i would go back and forth between wanting to be friends and thinking that we will never be able to be real friends because he's just way too hot. it's very clear to me now, and has been for some time, that we are not right for each other romantically. i just wish that realization also came with some sort of demotion on my hottest-guys-i-know list. maybe he could go shave his head or something.