my search for a job here in what i am convinced is the heart of hell (heat index today is definitely over 100) has been quite unsuccessful. i'm getting a shift here, a shift there, but no one will hire me. and we didn't get the john mayer/counting crows show, due to the fact that the guy who was supposed to take care of that got fired for reasons that are unknown to us but probably have to do with stealing. so i've almost decided that i am going to leave a couple weeks early. the more i think about it, the more i want to do it. i like it here very much... it does sort of feel like home...and it is wonderful being able to see rozino and kim multiple times a week, having sarah so close (relatively speaking), spending hours a day playing music, making new friends... but... well... this may sound terribly girly, but i really miss... ara. others too, of course... helen, jeanna, my cross and crown girls... but ara and i talk every day and thus i am constantly reminded of the 1500 miles between us and it is... hard. i didn't anticipate this 4-5 months ago at all.

and so maybe not being able to stay as long as i had planned for financial reasons is really a blessing. i'm thinking middle of july, kids. maybe surprising ara, not telling him i'm coming back. i know last time i did something like that it didn't work out so well, but this is different. he loves surprises. i'll be thinking... you be thinking too... of any good ideas.