so here is where i need to start. i need to tell you that i love airports. love them. riding on the plane is fun, but being AT the airport is the best. i think maybe because i have fond memories of stuff that has happened in airports over the past few years, and besides that, they are just interesting. funny things happen at airports. funny people are at airports. hot guys are at airports. airports and airplanes are microcosms of the whole world-- you throw a bunch of people of different ages and walks of life together and see what happens. it's hilarious. so, before i talk more about washington, i'm going to provide a top ten list of great airport moments. these aren't necessarily in order of importance.

10. The Reunion -- January 13, 2000: helen and steph reunite at midway airport after a dreadful 2 months without seeing each other. i think they may have been ready to arrest us for screaming so loud.

9. Steph and the Partridge Family -- Summer 2000: I sat next to this family on a plane from san diego to denver, and we all happened to be going to omaha. there were three young daughters, and, despite their age, they could all sing great. we sat in the denver airport for hours and i played guitar while they sang songs. we made $20 in tips in an hour.

8. Hey, Sparky, Go Through the Metal Dectector Again... -- March 21st, 2002: I was leaving montana last year at the end of my spring break, and sarah and matty had taken me to the airport. the kalispell airport. with FOUR WHOLE GATES. i was saying goodbye to them, and they were watching me go through the metal detector through a pane of glass, and... well... in a moment of stupidity i thought it would be funny to sort of wind up and pretend like i was a car or something going through the security deal. and in doing so the security dudes got ticked off and yelled at me, telling me to go back and go through the metal detector like a normal person. it was funny after i apologized profusely and was done being scared that they would arrest me.

7. Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch -- March 21, 2003: On friday i arrived at the seattle airport, and as i was waiting in baggage claim for my luggage this guy who was on my flight came over to talk to me. we made small talk about our hometowns and why we were in washington, and, as it turns out, he's in the navy and came to washington to complete training and to be assigned or something. we talked about how exciting it was that he had no idea what he would be doing once he left the airport. he said he was thrilled to be able to help out in the war. he said he was waiting for his golf bag at baggage claim. we exchanged playful banter.

"golf bag? you plan on golfing in iraq?"
"oh, i put my clothes in there to look like a civilian so i wouldn't be targeted."
"oh, yeah... i put my clothes in a regular bag so i would look like a civilian too."
"dork."

then kim showed up and i had to go. i thanked him for serving our country and i wanted to get a picture with him or get an email address or something so that i could know how he was doing during and after the war, but there wasn't time. godspeed mark.

6. The Wallflowers -- March 21st, 2003: helen and i sat at o' hare watching the people go by and talking. freaking news said to be there THREE HOURS EARLY because of the heightened security. it took me a whole FIFTEEN MINUTES to check my bags and get through security once i was ready to board my flight. so helen and i just sat and talked. and really, i loved every minute of it. just observing the people going by... walking up and down the terminal. commenting on the attractive baggage loading dude. good times.

5. Pass the Puppy -- February 25th, 2002: i had just spent the weekend with justin in pennsylvania, and it didn't go well. i gave him back this stuffed dog he had sent me months before and said "us" was done with the giving back of the dog. i mean really we were "done" before that, but that was just a declarative statement on my part, more for myself than for him. that's when i decided he was just a boy who thinks he's a man. this wasn't a fun airport moment, but it was definitely dramatic and needs to be in the top ten.

4. Goodbye Justin -- January 1st, 2002: he came to omaha, he was leaving, i took him to the airport, stood in line with him through security. we kept stepping out of line and going to the back because we wanted to spend more time together before he left. i cried a little bit. he blew me a kiss from down the hallway. it was cute.

3. Hello Justin -- December 28th, 2002: i hope he feels privileged that he got three of the top ten, but this one is definitely the best. he came early afternoon, we had our hide-and-seek-a-thon (sort of) in the omaha airport. he caught me "sleeping" and surprised me with a big toy flower. there was a hug and a "wow, you're blond now" comment, and then we left. again, very cute.

2. Lip Nazi -- May 20, 2002: rock star came to chicago, i took him back to o hare. we sat in the terminal for awhile next to this woman who was waiting for your husband.

her: "where are you guys headed?"
rock star: "i'm going back to houston"
her: "oh, are you guys dating?"
(ummm... awkward pause between the two of us... how to define the relationship...)
rock star: "well, i've liked her for four years."
her: "how did you guys meet?"
me: "umm... honey, how about you tell her the story"
rock star: "well, about 4.5 years ago, when she was an adolescent and i was a pedophile..." JOKING. i would have peed my pants laughing if he had said something like that. anyway, he told her the story, she took a picture of us and left.

so rock star gets ready to leave, we sort of embrace for a little bit, and he asks the big question.

"can i kiss you goodbye?"
"umm... i'd rather not on the lips today."
"okay."

he hugged me again and then left. but i totally spoiled the romantic moment. i mean even now i'm not completely sure why i turned him down. for a few minutes after he left i was kicking myself thinking, i could have been kissed by a very hot guy just then and i said NO. and then, an hour later, i was very glad about it. now i believe it was the providence of God. tee hee hee. no lip for you.

1. Happy Birthday, Baby -- January 17, 2000. i was leaving chicago on my b-day. he took me to the airport in the middle of a snow storm. had my flight been on time i would have missed it. which i wouldn't have minded. we ran into the airport, he stood in line with my bag while i went to the bathroom (i don't think i've ever had to pee so badly). his car got towed. we waited for 2-3 hours for my flight, just talking. no big drama, just a great time. best day of my life thus far. that year we had to write some sort of descriptive story as a paper for ms. kelly's honors english class. so i wrote about the airport. i got a 99% on that paper. i NEVER scored that high on ms. kelly papers. she was a very tough cookie.

so those are the stories. i was remarking yesterday how funny it is that all the long distance relationships i've had are fine until i or the guy get on the plane. so i started writing a song yesterday. i think it's called airports are for lovers and it's supposed to be kind of funny. i'll let you know how that works out for me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOUSTON SARAH!!!!!