so in approximately 14 hours, i have a date with destiny. it's at 4407 SW 9th St. at the oral surgeon's office. he and his cronies are going to knock me out cold and then extract my wisdom teeth, all of whom, with the exception of #17, have become close personal friends. #17 is the one that hurts me the most. when i talk about teething, it's all his fault.

can i just say that i'm pretty freaked out. i'm not so much worried about the pain... i mean of course it does scare me some, but working at starbucks and spilling the occasional 190 degree cup of coffee on my arm, i think i have really developed a higher tolerance for pain in the past year or so. what i'm scared about, and maybe i wouldn't have thought much about this if helen hadn't mentioned it when she got hers out, is losing control. they're going to do the anesthesia thing and i'm going to watch them put the IV into my vein and that's it. i can't keep myself from going under. i can't do anything about it. and then i'm going to be foggy for awhile afterwards and probably tripping out on vicadin. i really just don't like the thought of not being able to remember parts of my life. i mean not that i remember everything, but you know... i dunno. i can't be about my wits. and then i'm scared about bleeding and throwing up and infections. i haven't vomited since i was in sixth grade. holy crap. it was january 6th i think. when i was in sixth grade. that will have been 8 years tomorrow. so yeah, the anesthesia could make me sick to my stomach. and if i threw up tomorrow it would be the 8 year anniversary. fantastic.

and then there's my voice. i know it's only a couple days. but i'm a little bit scared as to if this is going to affect my voice at all. singing is my deal. i do it every day. it's hard when i can't. okay i'm done whining. pray for me if you think of it. i'm scared.