the next seven days are officially declared Stephanie's Dental Hell week. i don't think it made the 2003 calendar but you can be sure it will be on the 2004.

i had my first dentist appointment this morning. 8:00 am. wow that's early. especially to have people putting things other than food into your mouth. i went to a new dentist. i waited in the waiting area for about 10 minutes, during which i learned from YM that Elijah Wood does NOT have a girlfriend! the paragraph in which this information was contained was titled "And the Most Important Thing..." riiiiight, because my chances of snagging that gorgeous pointy-eared prize of a man are SO much greater since he's not dating anyone else. yay for me! actually i don't find elijah wood attractive really at all. he dresses nice. that's all he gets from me.

anyhow, i don't think i've had a dentist appointment for over 3 years, i'll be real honest with you. i hate dentists. well not actually hate them as persons, because they are often very pleasant individuals. but i hate the whole experience of going in, sitting in that ominous reclining chair and having someone stabbing one of the most tender parts of my body with sharp metal and THEN having the gall to ask me in a reprimanding tone whether or not i floss everyday, because you know by the tone of voice that if you say "of course i do" they will think you are full of crap, even if indeed you ARE an avid flosser. but i didn't have to deal with too much of that today. because, unbeknownst to me, in the first appointment as a new patient with this dentist they don't clean your teeth, but rather they take extensive x-rays and do a brief examination of your overall dental health. the hygeniest was assigned to do all the x-rays. she was pleasant and personable, though i was not impressed by the competency with which she performed her job. at one point she thought we were done taking x-rays so she removed the lead vest from my lap which was protecting my precious female nether parts. then she starting taking more x-rays but forgot to put the vest back on me. "oh, sh**," she said when she realized what she had done. thanks. that's exactly what i want to hear when you are doing something that concerns my fertility and consequently the future of my unborn children. i kept hearing her say "oh shoot" for the remainder of our x-ray session in regards to various mistakes she was making, none of which were problems with radiation, but rather just placement of the bite x-ray tab deals. still i'm a little bit scared of how deformed i'm going to end up being as a result of today's appointment.

the diagnosis? well, my gums and teeth are in relatively good health. i do, however, have two small cavities that the dr. would like to fill. and i have four wisdom teeth. i thought i only had two, but no. lucky for me there are four. and i get to have them removed on monday. whoopty freaking do. when you are out eating a lovely meal next monday evening, savoring each morsel as if it were the pinnacle of sensory experience (like eating red grapes), just remember me laying incapacitated on the couch, drooling all over myself.

so it doesn't look like things with rock star are going to be working out anytime soon. i don't really want to go into it right now, but i know some of you were wondering because of all the drama from the past couple weeks. so yeah. probably not gonna happen. and i'm okay. i've been better, but i'm okay. i think i just really need to cry for awhile. i haven't really cried much to speak of since october, and i think it would be good for me. i'll probably schedule that in before my nap this afternoon.