so yesterday i'm driving to "school", i'm driving on the street where my "school" is, and there IT is. freaking rat. it's a huge, inflatable, red-eyed, teeth-baring, rabid-looking RAT. and it's strapped to the hood of someone's car right outside my "school". i'm not making this up. you're asking yourself, WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH would there be a FOUR FOOT RAT strapped TO THE HOOD OF SOMEONE'S CAR? well let me sort of explain. see, as i've already mentioned, our "school" is building dorms. they just poured the foundation this week, and apparently the laborers our site superintendent hired are not union laborers. so for the past two weeks, the lazy union guys have been picketing in front of our campus. and yesterday, they just decided to bring a rat for kicks. to scare all of the impressionable youth around the neighborhood on their way to school. they don't really do anything. they just stand there and look menacing and yell things at the non-union workers who are getting paid well. as for the rat, our academic dean said something about getting his shot gun and sniping the freak down from its perch. too bad for me, it didn't pan out. how unfortunate. i would have like to have seen the inflatable rat explode in a puff of smoke and flame.

"excuse me."
"yes, officer?"
"did you witness the murder?"
"well...uh... i don't know if you could call it a murder."
"why's that, son?"
"well officer, because the rat was... INFLATABLE YOU FREAK."

i don't understand why people are stupid.