so recently jake introduced me to a website. www.googlism.com. on this website you can put someone's name or a place or a thing in the search box, and it will search google.com for random truth claims made about whatever you put in the search box. at least i think that's how it works. if you go to googlism.com and type in "stephanie" in the search box, you'll see several hundred statements made about me. here are some examples:

stephanie is no stranger to winning awards
stephanie is running
stephanie is the coolest
stephanie is all smiles
stephanie is not a career politician
stephanie is stretching her horizons
stephanie is straight out of a regency
stephanie is 20 years old and possesses a very balanced view of the world
stephanie is on the trail of kenny
stephanie is a ballet teacher
stephanie is supervising a number of research students working on projects within music education and social psychology
stephanie is clearly uninformed
stephanie is a fount of useless knowledge
stephanie is a professional bounty
stephanie is quickly becoming quite a fast runner
stephanie is a total babe


these statements are all relatively accurate, except for being a ballet teacher. the following googlisms, however, are a little more out there:

"stephanie is so afraid of germs"
if the frequency with which i shower means anything...

"stephanie is attacked and knocked out as she cases his candy store"
i can't believe google got ahold of this. it was supposed to be between me and jeremiah.

"stephanie is living with aids at a time when doctors are hinting at a cure"
when it says "hinting" does it mean that I'M supposed to find the cure?

"stephanie is an experienced professional harpist who plays and teaches throughout the bay area"
i've always said if you want to learn the harp, you have to start young. and have a harp. that helps too.

"stephanie is also founder and president of spotlight on wisconsin"
damn straight. does anyone remember "mars cheese castle?"

"stephanie is expected to remain in a wheelchair when outside the home"
shhhh... don't blow my cover.

"stephanie is one of them"
if "them" refers to bed-wetters, well... yes. i guess you had to find out sometime.

"stephanie is active in professional organizations and is a regular presenter and discussant at the american economic association and american statistical"
mom and dad would be proud.

"stephanie is reaching infamy for kissing just about everyone on the roster"
yeah... with all those guys i've been kissing lately... I think we've already talked about this.

"stephanie is the woman that i want to spend the rest of my life with"
like i haven't heard THAT before...

"stephanie is the whore of all whores"
and you want to spend the rest of your life with me?

"stephanie is forever 17"
17 was my golden birthday. it was a great one.

"stephanie is currently in the studio recording her much anticipated second album"
much-anticipated might be stretching it a little...

"stephanie is most likely the anonymous woman who called her in the middle of the night"
i say weird things in my sleep. most people who know me can attest to this. :)

"stephanie is special to me because she was the only gerbil in a litter of six that was not agoutie"
awwwww... thanks for keeping me around!

"stephanie is a child trapped in a body that doesn't work"
ummmmm....

"stephanie is motivated to improve the quality of life in her district in terms of traffic congestion"
just don't come to my doorstep selling girl scout cookies.

"stephanie is covered by a number of insurance companies and plans"
because i am a disease?

"stephanie is engaged"
i'm glad SOMEBODY is keeping track of my life. sometimes it is so busy i don't even remember these things.

so if you're interested in learning more about me just go to googlism.com. because they would know.