a reasonable assertion.

so the A to Z market a few blocks from my apartment had this banner hung below its street sign that boasted "now with indian grocers"... i wonder what measurable increase their business experienced as a result of hanging this banner... anyway, it's gone. all gone. whether it was removed by the owners, by mexican grocers, or by adverse weather conditions, i know not. but the banner is gone.

in other news, it was hot today. summer is here. i'm missing spring already. i waited for it so long. *sigh*

also, i got an oil change on few days ago and saw him who shall remain nameless, except to say that his name is three letters, and it begins and ends with an "a". it was interesting.

i guess i've known that he never really stopped caring for me. though he is mysterious and i hardly ever know why he does things that he does, i can see on his face that he still cares for me. when i leave, i can tell that he doesn't want me to, but he doesn't stop me. i often get the impression that he would like to tell me more but doesn't, for reasons i don't completely understand.

but this time, he sort of said it. i don't think he had planned on telling me, and it didn't seem like something he was waiting to get off his chest... i was just asking him questions about his life, and somehow it came out that, fives years later, he still thinks of me often and compares other women in his life to me. it was quite a surprise to hear him say this, though i think i knew on some remote level.

it's been strange processing the conversation this week, not really in that my feelings are dramatically affected, but more just in the God, what are You doing here? sort of way. i know that what he is drawn to in me is really You. i know around me, he feels valued and loved, and he may think that it is me, but i know that it is You. and if there is any way i can, directly or indirectly, help him encounter You, i am willing. but the whole thing also made me sad, because i really want him to be happy. i don't want him to always wonder if i was the one that got away, or to regret having broken up with me. but more than anything, i want him to seek You with all of his heart, and so i suppose if THIS is part of THAT, well... You do know best, and i do not.

so... huh... anyways... there's not really anything i have to DO in response to it all. life is back to normal. we don't ever talk outside of the occasional oil change, and that remains true. i just pray You would use it all to get to his heart.