on moving school houses and normalcy in mount prospect.

so, something strange happened today.

*they* (don't ask questions) are moving a ginormous old school house from one part of mount prospect to another part of mount prospect, approximately 6 blocks away. the school house didn't look nearly as big resting on land, but you get that baby on the road and, well... let's just say that, if you were to play chicken with the school house, you would lose lose lose. this school used to be located in a residential area, and i guess somebody bought the land and the village was planning on tearing it down, but mount prospect's historical landmark advocates could not bear to let this happen, so they raised some money and moved the thing to another residential area 6 blocks away.

the whole thing, while somewhat endearing i guess, kind of makes me sigh with annoyance because of all of the problems it created. a team from the electric company (which is notorious for being excruciatingly slow at responding to community electrical problems) followed this thing around to take down power lines all around the neighborhood so that the school house could get through, so some of the traffic lights in downtown mount prospect were inoperable. as if that weren't enough, road crews decided that today would be the best day of any to resurface many of mount prospect's side streets, which meant that many many roads were blocked off. what normally would be a three-minute drive to the bank took fifteen, and it was only that little because i figured out how to teleport myself into the bank parking lot. the school house was being moved to a property very close to the bank, so there was a lot of commotion in the area... lots of people and police cars. apparently the school house is very popular. for a moment i thought the pope was in town.

and now for something that is sort of related, but i'm having trouble connecting all the dots in writing. maybe you can help.

when i was a bit younger, i was always wanting to be different. i wanted to stand out. i wanted to take the high road and to do things others were scared to do. after some reflection, i think i would say that my reasons for wanting to be so unique were more prideful than they were courageous. i wanted to be noticed and to be remembered... by how i dressed, by my musical/intellectual abilities, by my boldness... something that would cause people to never forget me, Stephie, Ninja Warrior.

as i get older, i think the temptation is a little different, if not the opposite. now the challenge has become not letting myself be content with *normal*. at this stage in my life, *normal* is probably defined as getting a career, getting married, maybe having a baby or two. not that any of these things are bad things... or that i don't want them, but... i guess the difference is that it is hard to break free from the worldview (even in the Church... maybe ESPECIALLY in the Church) that sees all of these goals as ends in themselves, instead of means to an end.

when i get a real job, THEN i will feel valuable. when i am married, THEN i will be happy. when i have a child, THEN i will feel loved.

i mean, it sounds silly writing it here, but it is actually requires energy for me NOT to slip into these patterns of thinking. it doesn't come naturally, most of the time. my sin nature wants to focus on temporal things, to give the most attention to things that will last, at best, for a generation or so. but that is not what i am called to do. i am called to live as though eternity is more real than what my eyes can see right now, and that what will be regarded as great in eternity is quite different than what is regarded as great in this age. i am called to believe that HE is my exceedingly great reward... not a job, not marriage, not family, not ministry-- all good things, but ultimately meant for the purpose of training in righteousness and blessing others.

i used to hear people talk like this and think they were regurgitating spiritual garbage. i used to think that such a belief kind of took the romance, the mystery, the adventure out of life, but my heart has totally changed now. God's adventures are the best! they are so full of meaning and life. i want everything to mean something, to play some role in the unfolding story that God is writing, and in my life specifically. the whole earth is filled with His glory, scripture says, and yet i see so little of it!

i don't want to be content with the fact that i see so little of Him in every day life. i don't want to be content with... settling. i don't want to get to the place in life where i am so consumed with normal life that the Lord stops being jealous for my heart and my attention, and gives me over to what i THINK i want but is really stopping short of everything that He would give me on this side of eternity.

oh God, be fiercely jealous for me! do not let me be content in life that is not abiding in You! do not let me be deceived that greatness in this world is the same as greatness in Your eyes. help me see as You do, help me see that everything and everyone are filled with Your glory.

how is this related to the school house? umm... maybe because today will go down in mount prospect's history books as "the day the old school was moved 6 blocks away", but what eternal significance will it have? so much money and resources used today, but to what end? the people that care so much about the school house now will most likely be dead in fifty years and won't care one way or the other then.

that's the best i got. it's a stretch, i know, but i PROMISE it's all connected in my head/heart.