i ain't afraid of no toad!

to all of my alert readers:


i read an alarming article today on yahoo.com. you can read it here, if you'd like.

to those of you who will not check out the link, please allow me to summarize the article:

a toad the size of a small dog was found in darwin, australia, on tuesday. it's one of the largest in recorded australian history. this find would be much more delightful, i'm sure, if the frog were not of a breed of poisonous toads that are massacred every year by a band of guerrilla toad-fighters for the purpose of maintaining the balance of australia's delicate ecosystem. this rebel force, also known as Frogwatch, are on a noble mission to save other animals, like crocodiles and snakes, that are poisoned by this particular type of toad.

it's a tragic story, really.

some highlights from the article (please read with an australian accent):

"It's huge, to put it mildly. The biggest toads are usually females but this one was a rampant male... I would hate to meet his big sister."

~ Graeme Sawyer, Frogwatch coordinator, when asked
to comment on the size of the ginormous toad.

"As part of its so-called "Toad Buster" project, Frogwatch conducts regular raids on local water holes, blinding the toads with bright lights then scooping them up by the dozen."

~ A Frogwatch official, when asked to elaborate on how
the group borrowed some of my ninja juice-stealing
tactics that helped get me removed from day care
when I was two years old.

"We kill them with carbon dioxide gas, stockpile them in a big freezer and then put them through a liquid fertilizer process."

~ Sawyer, commenting on how Frogwatch disposes of
the captured toads, right before saying that this is
also the same process by which he "takes care of"
unwanted puppies.

"It turns out to be sensational fertilizer."

~ Sawyer, unprovoked, referring to "toad mush".

i really don't think much more needs to be said on this matter.