in life, sometimes there are things that just don't add up.

• for instance, a blizzard when spring is officially 4 days away.
• or the orthodontist holding your teeth hostage until the execs over at Metlife get their crap together and cough up the dough.
• or when it takes you at least a week to fold and put away clean clothes after you've done laundry.
• or those made-to-look-handwritten birthday cards you get from your insurance agent. what a crock.
• or having to go to bed at 8pm in order to get a full 8 hours of sleep.

see? all things that are just not how God intended.

but i tell you, dear friends, there are things that DO add up.

• like getting paid $80 to talk about kleenex for an hour.
• or discovering the goodness of honey tangerines.
• or the reuniting with old friends (sorry i haven't called you back yet, Chuck, it's been a crazy week!). jeanna, everett, sarah goo, etc.
• or the thought of visiting texas. **sigh** houston, my love, how i long for thee!
• or the full moon shining through the bedroom window.
• or starbucks for no reason at all.
• or the thought of going to a small town county fair and two-steppin like in "sweet home alabama."
• or wall/rock climbing and making it to the top.

these are all things that make my lovely heart go "coo."

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and then there is He without whom (does that even make sense?) none of the mathematical operations would exist and therin NOTHING could add up or not add up. wow i am such a nerd, referring to the Lord through mathematical analogy. i mean it's true, but wow, i'm a nerd.

i haven't written much about what has happened in my heart in the past 3-4 months. it has been truly life changing, which makes it worthy of note here, but i've been writing it down in other places.

i have spent the better portion of my life as a christian wondering how in the world i could live this out for the rest of my life. i mean, it's not really all that difficult to be a "good", moral christian when you're accustomed to the habits. that's not what i'm talking about. i mean the living in the constant reality of God-with-me, walking in the love, victory, and power that the apostles did over the long haul. sustaining the passion for the 50-year-deal. how do you keep your heart from getting dull? i know so many hearts that said yes to God at one point but have fallen asleep.

and the answer is probably the best kept secret of christianity. it is not complex, but it is not easy. it's not really obscure, but it's not flashing lights, either. Jesus said, "Small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it" (Matt. 7:13). oh, i pray that all of you, my friends, would be among those who find it!

by His grace, I have, and it has changed everything.