correction: in aforementioned boy kissing boy story, there was no tongue. i misunderstood. sorry to those offended by the false information. call my lawyer.

due to some responses and comments regarding my last post, i feel the need to clarify that i'm not discounting boy's musical and scholarly aspirations. the humor is more in the fact that before i ever knew anything about his apparent affections, helen told him things about me and i think about some of my preferences, and as we were talking the other night it was like he was going down a checklist.

she likes music. check.
she likes smart guys. check.
she enjoys traveling. check.
she prefers plastic over paper. check.

i appreciate the effort to show that we have something in common, and if he's pursuing some different avenues because he wants to have more in common or for other reasons, that's no problem. everyone has done that. imitation is the most sincere form of flattery (not that i'm a great musician or much of an intellectual or anything, but you get the idea). the point of the last post was to make helen laugh, and it did, so enough said. :)

i want to take this time to alert you, the reader, of a very alarming forward i received this morning. apparently those gel candles, the ones that you know and love because they last a million times longer than the traditional wax candle... well. turns out they are dangerous. this forward that i read this morning details several tragic stories of lives ruined by the deadly ebola...err... gel candle. here is an excerpt:

"My former secretary had a terrible thing happen to her and her family last week, and I wanted to share it with all of you so that you could be warned and warn your friends and family as well. She had a gel candle burning in her bathroom ... it exploded and caught her house on fire. The house burned down and they lost everything. The fire Marshall told her that this is not the first incident where a gel candle has exploded and caused a fire. He said that the gel builds up a gas and often times it explodes and sets fire to the room it is in, which is what happened to her. The fire was so hot it melted the smoke alarm, and they didn't discover the fire until there was an explosion, which was her toilet blowing up, and then it was too late...the entire upstairs was engulfed in flames. Smoke damage and water damage have destroyed what wasn't destroyed by fire."

questions:
1) why did the toilet blow up as opposed to the sink or the bathtub?
2) what does a toilet blowing up look like?
3) can we recreate the event so i, and millions of other curious readers, can see the toilet blow up?
4) why is the "m" in "fire Marshall" capitalized when the "f" is not?
5) is the fire Marshall's name Marshall?

impress me with your stunning intellect and answer me these questions five.