so following last night's extremely disappointing grammy awards, i'm going to name some categories and my nominees for them. yes disappointing. don't get me wrong, i like norah jones. but not enough for eight grammys. no sirree. okay here goes:

best grammy performance:
john mayer -- "your body is a wonderland"
coldplay and the new york philharmonic - "politik"
eminem - "lose yourself"
norah jones - "don't know why"
bruce springsteen -- "the rising"

and the winner is: coldplay and the new york philharmonic. ummm... yeah. quite possibly the most amazing thing i've ever seen... EVER. words cannot describe how much that performance moved me. i need the new york philharmonic.

worst grammy performer:
no doubt -- "underneath it all/hella good"
faith hill -- whatever that song was...
dixie chicks -- "landslide"
nelly and kelly rowland -- "hot in herre/dilemma" (on a side note, why the freak are there two "r"s in the "herre" of the song title? i don't get it)

and the winner (or should i say the loser) is: no doubt. vocally that performance sucked goats. i wanted to throw myself through a window. on the upside, i noticed that gwen stefani is even flatter than i am.

worst-dressed grammy attendee:
pink
gwen stefani

and the winner is: pink. her black "dress" was quite possibly the least flattering thing i've ever seen on anyone. EVER.

male grammy attendee most likely to have my children:
chris martin -- coldplay
john mayer

and the winner is: either one. i think maybe i would choose chris over john, just because he's got the accent and i like coldplay better than mayer. but there is something very endearing about john, and i'm aware that chris is dating gwenyth paltrow so i think the american might be more attainable.