top 5 annoying sounds:

5. compilation cd skipping on the coltrane track. BITE ME.
4. silverware scraping against a plate while someone is eating
3. that damn moulin rouge song... kitchy kitchy ya ya ya ya... voulez-vous couchez avec moi... you know what i'm talking about
2. a guy calling me "sweetie" that's not on THE LIST (**see below)

and the NUMBER ONE MOST ANNOYING SOUND IS..............................

1. the starbucks timers for brewed coffee. they go off every hour. they make you want to shoot yourself.

** So there's this dude who has been coming into my store for the last few weeks, almost every day. he's probably in his forties or so, and when he came in the first time he was new to starbucks, so he hadn't found his "perfect drink" yet. he was asking for something that would "kick his ass", i think he said. so i made a few suggestions, and eventually he chose a 4 shot venti (large) mocha, which normally has 2 shots of espresso. so i ring him up and he hands me a $20 and as i reach to take it from his hand, he pulls it back a little, playing with me. not funny. he sets the bill on the counter, i give him his change, he says, "thanks sweetie." every day. "thanks sweetie." more about that later. on with the story. now his drink customarily comes with whipped cream, so when i went to make his beverage for the first time, i asked him if he wanted whip, and he replies, and i quote,

"no, i don't swing that way."

excuse me? are you implying that, as a man, having whipped cream on your starbucks beverage makes you gay? because i hate to break it to you dude but anything you order off of the espresso menu other than an americano or espresso alone is a PANSY DRINK. PANSY. let me put it this way. anything on that menu with more than 50 calories is a sissy drink, so suck it up and face the fact that you just don't like whipped cream.

as if the whipped cream ordeal wasn't enough, this guy decided that his mocha wasn't sweet enough (like i said, pansy). so we add more mocha. which, when he's happy with it, amounts to being TWICE the amount that we usually put in, which is a hell of a lot of mocha. we're talking like a third of a 20 oz. cup. plus the espresso. and thismuch milk, because after you've added the other elements, there is barely any room for milk. so we make his drink, and THEN he takes it over to the condiment bar and empties 3-4 MORE SUGAR PACKETS INTO IT. i'm afraid this guy is going to have a heart attack in the middle of our store. seriously.

so yeah, he apparently thinks it's okay to call all of us girls "sweetie." and it's not in a sentimental fatherly sort of fashion. let me tell you something. there are a limited number of males who are not related to me that are allowed to call me anything ending with an "ee" sound other than simply "stephanie." unless you are related to me or on the list below, if you are a guy i've decided you are not permitted to call me stephie, sweetie, baby, honey, pookie, etc., etc. ad nauseum. sorry. you can apply again next year if you are still interested in making the cut.

here's the list in no certain order:

1. matty
2. mike olson (i don't know if you've ever called me "stephie" before, but if you did it would be okay :)
3. nowie...errrr Noah
4. jakey
5. michael
6. rozi
7. joshy

i think that's it. if you're interested in getting on the list, we'll need to have a little talk.