over thanksgiving vacation i picked up a magazine while at the grocery store. it's the muscle and fitness for her one. i usually get it every month just because i trust women with man arms know a thing or two more about lifting than do the twigs on most of the other health and fitness magazines. and really i think a lot of muscle and definition in the arms/shoulders/back is really awesome on both men and women so that's one of my goals. so i read through the magazine and decide that i need to change my routine quite a bit because my body has gotten used to the one i'm doing. anyway, so i'm reading this interview with this chick, and she says that in order to gain significant muscle, you need to consume large amounts of protein. which makes sense, but it seems like a lot of the studies that i've read show that an increase in protein doesn't necessarily equal an increase in muscle gain. but whatever. i think this chick would know what she's talking about because she's ripped. so she says that she recommends 1-1.5 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight A DAY. that's well over 100 grams of protein a day. daaaaang chang.

so i decide i'm going to give it a shot. try and dramatically increase my protein intake, cut back quite a bit on carbs. see what happens. so yesterday i go grocery shopping and i see those big cylinders of protein powder. it was pretty inexpensive, so i bought one. i come home from the Y last night and get ready to make an egg white omelette, and i get this brilliant idea. i wonder if i could mix some of this powder into the egg whites. it doesn't really have a smell, so i'm assuming it doesn't really taste bad. i scoop some of the stuff into the whites. icky icky icky. it starts to glob together, even though i stir it. i decide to suck it up and poor the whites into the skillet anyway. bad idea. it looks even more disgusting. like someone chucked in a pan. greeeeeat. but still i'm hopeful. i cook everything, planning to season this concoction quite a bit. it looks pretty gross.

i take my first bite.

wow, if there was ever a time when i wanted to throw up, it was then. to be real honest with you, it wasn't so much the taste of the powder itself, but just its taste with egg whites and its consistency. i think i started to gag. i think vomit would look more appetizing than this stuff. i couldn't bring myself to eat anymore. so i settled for a bowl of cottage cheese.

so the moral of the story is singular: don't put protein powder in egg whites. it doesn't work.